Published inScuzzbucket·2 days agoMember-onlyElephants, Algorithms, And ShadowsTread carefully, write guardedly — you can tell yourself the algo has no power over what you write that you don’t care about your claps and your stats you can tell yourself the boost makes no difference, that you write for the joy of writing that money is no object, that fame and recognition are only for…Poetry3 min readPoetry3 min read
Published inThe Haven·4 days agoMember-only5 Stages Of Your Story BombingFrom denial to pouting — Recently I was seduced into a writing challenge by that snake-oil satirist, Smillew. The story had to feature CEO Coach Tony, a pizza restaurant, and a couple of horse stall mats. To up the stakes, the CEO had to be tagged in the story, as you would get huge bonus…Satire4 min readSatire4 min read
Published inThe Pub·6 days agoMember-onlyBlood Stains On My Horse Stall MatA thriller at my corner pizza joint — On those rare days off I can be bothered snapping out of my habitual corpse pose, I will unroll one of my two traditional Horse Stall Mats to do some down dogs (also known as Downward Dogs for the obnoxiously pedantic). The other mat I reserve for the basement of…Comedy3 min readComedy3 min read
Published inKnow Thyself, Heal Thyself·Sep 14Member-onlyThe Sun Was Getting BoredTurning inward — the sun had enough of shining her light on all of our crimes — our little puerile wars, our nuclear toys, our climate ignorance she had enough of growing our food and our plants, and interrupting the fog and the rain to warm our skin she was getting bored of setting…Poetry2 min readPoetry2 min read
Published inScuzzbucket·Sep 11Member-onlyEluding The AlgorithmOn your home feed — the home feed was coughing up a strange narrative phlegm this Monday morning — nobody you followed, no related subjects or tags based on your reading history instead a rogue home feed throwing up the same names you’ve seen so many times despite never clicking on them, repeatedly ignoring them…Poetry2 min readPoetry2 min read
Published inAll About M·Sep 9Member-onlyBurying The UnboostedIn search of a shovel for your 24-hour-old poem — You were back on the Clap Farm, looking for somewhere to bury one of your recent poems. After garnering an 85% read ratio and 2k claps in 24 hours, the piece suddenly halted in its tracks after a mere 54 views, dropping like a dead possum. You showed up at…Satire3 min readSatire3 min read
Published inScrittura·Sep 8Member-onlyDoctor’s Check-UpBad symptoms, inscrutable solutions — my liver is fine, Doctor — it’s the anger that’s the problem it’s not my liver that’s been dealing with bad bosses, insane parents, inflated ambitions, lack of self-awareness, deluded grandiosity, profound ignorance, misplaced identity, climate apocalypse, collective pomposity, can you fix any of these things? what am I paying…Poetry3 min readPoetry3 min read
Published inScuzzbucket·Sep 6Member-onlyAn App Called Medium RareTop writer in Spleen — you were writing on a site called Medium Rare dot com you were a Top Writer in Spleen earning a thousand slaps for your last tantrum you liked to come home from work and whinge on blank paper — about your boss, your menial tasks, your tiny apartment with no cross airflow…Poetry2 min readPoetry2 min read
Published inShort and Weird·Sep 5Member-onlyComing Home Without A PlotAfter looking for a point all day — You came home dejected. You wandered the entire city and still found nothing. You entered the apartment and your partner could immediately tell something was up. Don’t tell me you lost the fucking plot. You had no defense. You couldn’t hide anything from her. …Satire2 min readSatire2 min read
Published inScuzzbucket·Sep 3Member-onlyA Blind DateSuffering was on the menu — you were on a blind date with a woman named Hope you threw skepticism out with yesterday’s trash the name of the joint was Disillusionment’s Diner you made your reservation under the name Gullibility Suffering was on the menu with a special of spiced Flattery Death was for dessert —…Poetry2 min readPoetry2 min read
